Thursday, November 1, 2007

What was I thinking???????

I have been reading a lot of different blogs lately written by parents who have a child with Down syndrome. They are all so great and very encouraging to me. One comman thing I have noticed is that all of us parents have at one time or another received rude, hurtful, insensative, and ignorant comments in regards to our child having Down syndrome. I am not going to share any of the comments I have received by strangers, but I am going to be honest and tell you about the insane thoughts I had right after Rylie's birth. Some of these- I just thought and some of them I actually said out loud. Please forgive me as I knew nothing about Ds . This is why I forgive other people who have made insensative comments to me. Anyway-here goes...............

1. After the pediatrician told me that they thought Rylie had Down syndrome I immediatley thought I was going to have a child in a wheelchair. I really wasn't sure what Down syndrome was!

2. I wasn't sure if I should still give her the name Rylie (which I had picked out even before I knew I was pregnant)

3. I asked the pediatrician if the baby had Down syndrome because of the Benedryl I took one time during pregnancy(which my obgyn recommended for me). I had to be convinced by the doctor several times that it wasn't my fault. I still get bothered by the thought that people might think that Down syndrome is caused by something the parents did.

4. I actually said to a nurse "she is so beautiful-will she stay beautiful? -Duh-that was dumb. Rylie is gorgeous. I honestly do think children and adults with Down syndrome are beautiful. But of course I think Rylie is the most beautiful.

5. When people brought me gifts up to the hospital ie...adorable outfits...I thought- will she be able to wear regular clothes? I am laughing right now remembering this one.

6. I thought Karlie (Rylie's big sister) was going to be mad at me and she was only 4 yrs old at the time. I am still laughing!

7. I went down the list of characteristics and convinced myself that Rylie didn't have any of them and that her bloodwork was going to come back negative for Down syndrome and then all the doctors would have to apologize to me.

There are more -but, these are some I'm choosing to share. Some of them make me laugh and some of them make me think- what on earth was wrong with me? So like I said before...this is why I'm so forgiving when strangers make ignorant comments to me. I am glad that I am now very educated when it comes to Down syndrome-but I am still learning.


RK said...

I had alot of very similar thoughts. I've been thinking of doing a post like this, too, but never got around to it. It's amazing to look back at how much we've learned, isn't it?

Melanie said...

Thanks for your comment about Logan...I just read your post and I have to agree. I first pictured myself taking care of a 30 year old man who couldn't do anything for himself. Then of course I had many other thoughts that I am not proud of. I know now that I was wrong, but it is crazy what crosses your mind right away when you find out. I could write forever on this topic. (I should post about this as well)

Michelle said...

You can't blame yourself for what you didn't know then; it's a whirlwind of emotions when you get a dx for your child. I wondered if Kayla would ever ride a bike! Ok she's not there yet, but I know one day she will be :) Don't be so hard on yourself for things you wondered about - you just didn't know what to expect!

Michelle said...

Yeah, you're definitely not alone with strange thoughts. We were so lucky, I have a friend with an adult sister with DS who we've spent time with. So I had a positive idea of Ruby's potential - and I still do, on most days. But I had NO idea about the possible health risks. It was all very overwhelming.

Emily said...

Hi, I just found your blog through downsyn. I am Emily, mom to Macy (4 1/2 months) who has DS.

I had to laugh at your thoughts because I had similar ones. When the doctor first told me she had DS, for some odd reason I thought that she would be destined to wear polyester track suits, be overweight and have a terrible haircut.

It's crazy the places our mind takes us when we are put into an unfamiliar and stressful situation!

Michelle said...

Just popping in to return the HELLO! I will add you to my blog list, and thank you for coming to visit. Your girls are beautiful!

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